Welcome to Red! A play of tragedy, lunacy and having absolutely no idea of what I'm doing! Enjoy the absurd and have fun!
---
Act I - The Opening
The curtain opens revealing an empty stage to an empty crowd. The whole atrium is completely empty save for the occasional janitor which comes cleaning the left-overs of a time very long gone by for now. In fact, there seems to be no left-overs at all to begin with and the janitors are just casually strolling through. Some suspect they might be dead, though this is yet to be confirmed. The play is called
“Red.”Along comes the first actor of our play, all of him dressed in red satins, bearing a red-feathered hat. His beard is long and crimson too, and his eyes naturally are dancing flame in their sockets. He bows to the crowd which isn’t there and the lone janitor claps and cheers. His colleagues do the same, even if none other than him is there.
“Greetings! I am the Lord of Red Mushrooms! I will be the main actor of your show, my dearest viewers and I will be tonight, the host of your entertainment!” And yet again another bow. There are neither applause nor crickets, nor any source of audible or relevant sound. What happened to the janitor and the colleagues which weren’t there?
In comes another figure, running almost, as if late by a clock which does not seem to function. A paler shade of red adorns his robes, which are not of satin but rather, silk. His beard is just as red as the other figure however. He immediately comes, and arches another bow, much more elaborate, going as far so as to take of his head to whomever it is that only they seem to see.
“Ah, pay no heed to the buffon here, as he is naught but a mere impostor. It is I! The Lord of Oh-Not-So-Red Mushrooms who will be the star of this play. In my talent and in my derivative colouration, it so happens to be encompassed many other a shade, flutter, stutter and many other meaninglessness which one can stutter for your gentle crowd’s entertainment!” And he flashes a malicious grin to the twin.
“What is this?! Buffon?! Thou wretch! Thou processor of parasitical funghi and freshly baked loafs of wheat!” And to this he gasped for herbal matter is the food of commoners amidst funghi.
“Thou whom are detached from the reality which we here present, oh Lord of Oh-Not-So-Red Mushrooms who seeks to steal the rightful birth right of a ruler by default? Pah! I say! Pah, damn and blast! Begone with you, for this play, this role is mine and mine alone!”And the second twin, Not-So-Red-Mushroom, is he? He became flustered, irritated, but he grinned. He grinned and smirked and all he was provocation! He gestured the lights on, for a display of ingenuity, and it is then, in that precise moment, in which the audience which had never been there was about to witness a grand display of action which was never meant to be, that she ran in. The third character of this play, the female protagonist, or so it is said. All of her was fire and fury! There were other features worth mentioning, but we’ll not describe them here, as we require a reason to fill up the theatre.
The Lord of Red Mushrooms turns to her with a kind smile.
“Ah, the Countess of Scarlet Toadstools! Come dear sister, come meet the Impostor and Nemesis!” With a grin, she flared her gaze upon him and he grinned back! He grinned back, the sly dog! He winked even, and that peaked her interest.
“Ah, so the lady of fire will join the fray? Is this war she seeks? Very well then! I call upon thee, my second!” And a fourth figure comes in bearing neither rhyme nor reason to his attire! Is it leather, is it silk, is it satin or its ilk? No! Your answer is invalid! For before this crowd, on his mighty steed, a three legged vermin kin. Taking his hat off, removing his wig, ‘lo and behold the Arch-Duke of Crimson Funghi!
“Is it war you wish, witch? Is it life-flow you wish in exchange for a role? Then life-flow shalt be had. From the Lady to the Lord, from the peasant to the slave! From beast to the crop! Thou shalt forfeit your life, wench, as the Crimson blood comes to be drawn at the edge of a paper-cut!” And just as quickly as he came, he storms off view. And with him, bowing and smirking, the Lord of Oh-Not-So-Red Mushrooms disappears after.
“Dear Sister, darling, sweet, know you what remains to be done?” He asks her, tilting his head to the side.
“Big Brother, lord and master, are you not trusting of what darling sister can accomplish?”He nodded and agreed with the nothing which was stated. And since nothing was stated at all, he turned to her sister and disagreed right after.
“Then you know what needs to be done!”And the curtain falls, hiding away the scene to the audience which never was. The debris which filled the theatre gave way to absolutely no applause, yet there was a sense of pleasure and accomplishment in the air. Nevertheless, all was well and the Janitor swept away the remainder of the actions as he retreated through the floor to the catacombs which led to nowhere.
The act ends.
